Dr. Seuss

One of my absolute favorite things to do in a day in life is to read a book or two to Emi before bedtime. Emi and I have this little bedtime routine. Dad give her the last bottle around 830pm. I change her diaper and change her into her jammies. We sit down in the rocking chair in her room with the lamp on, pacifier in mouth, and I read her a book or two (and occasionally dad will join us too- I think he enjoys the books also!). I LOVE LOVE LOVE this part of my day. The Dr. Seuss books are perfect! They are the perfect length because usually by the end Emi is snoring her head off and doesn't even wake up when I lay her in her crib.

As of yesterday we only had two Dr. Seuss books (Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham). I went to TJ tonight and picked up One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, There's No Place Like Space, The Lorax, and The Places You'll Go. I was somewhat surprised when I was reading that there are basically two categories of books. There are the Beginner Books (Green Eggs, Cat, Fish and Space fall into this category) and the Advanced Books (Lorax, Places). Who knew that at age 28 29, I could still tell the difference between Beginner and Advanced books!? That Dr. Seuss sure likes to make up a lot of words. Good thing Emi doesn't know yet when I mess up the words in the advanced books. And hopefully by the time she notices I will have mastered the crazy Dr. Seuss words!

If I didn't know better, I would think that these books are based on my life story. For example, in The Cat and the Hat, the Cat is attempting to do everything at the same time.

"Look at me! Look at me! Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun But you have to know how.
I can hold up the cup And the milk and the cake!
I can hold up these books! And the fish on a rake!
I can hold the toy ship And a little toy man!
And look! With my tail I can hold a red fan!
I can fan with the fan As I hop on the ball!
But that is not all. Oh, no. That is not all...”

Sometimes I feel like I try to do too much at once and then it all comes crashing down. But my favorite part about this book is at the end when Jack asks the reader if they would tell their mom what they had been up to all day with the Cat in the Hat at the house without Mom's approval. I always then pose the question to Emi and say "Emi, you would tell Mommy, wouldn't you?" Emi is always snoring by this time and never answers. But I always ask.

Yes, I even think Green Eggs and Ham is based on my life as well. In the book, Sam is a "relentless crusader" who asks everybody to try Green Eggs and Ham. In the book, Sam's roommate says:

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

Sam is like my clients. They ask me a question. A question with a very easy answer. I give them the answer. Then my client asks me the same question about but changes one irrelevant factor and asks again. And again. And again. Continually changing very unimportant facts in hopes that I will change my answer.

I'm excited to read these new books to Emi! I hope she enjoys them as much as I do!

My Friend, Giuliana

Perhaps you know my friend, Giuliana Rancic (nee DePandi). She co-hosts E! News with Ryan Secrest and is married to Season 1 Apprentice winner, Bill Rancic. Giuliana doesn't know we're friends, but I have no doubt that if she did know she would not mind at all.

A few weeks ago Tommy was able to find a link on the internet so that I could watch her show "Giuliana and Bill" which airs on the Style Network. We have the less expensive cable plan which provides forty five thousand channels of ESPN, but no Style. Had I know about this link previously, I would have taken more maternity leave. I love her show! Seriously, if you have never seen it- its a MUST! Basically Giuliana and Bill is a reality show that follows these lovebirds around. In the last two years it focused more on her infertility as her and her husband tried (and failed) IVF two times. Season 5 (the current season) focuses on them preparing for their third (and final) round of IVF when Giuliana (age 36) finds out she has breast cancer! Prior to her finding out about her breast cancer they had successful stored two embryos. Because Giuliana had breast cancer she cannot safety undergo IVF for 3-5 years (she had a double mastectomy but apparently the surge of estrogen would increase the changes of her cancer coming back). With the two embryos they elected to have implanted in a gestational carrier. This past week they announced that the embryos took and they are expecting late summer! Wow! What a crazy story! They always say real life is stranger than fiction.

Here are the top reasons I am friends with Giuliana:

1. She was born in Italy and moved to the States at age 9. Giuliana and Bill went back to Italy to get married and failed to read up on international full faith and credit and did not realize for a year that their marriage was not recognized in the U.S. So funny!

2. She has the most amazing vocabulary. Think words like "Amazeballs" or "cutes".

3. Giuliana and Bil call each other by their last names. So Bil calls Giuliana "DePandi." and Giuliana calls Bill "Rancic."  I've started this trend around the office, and I really think its picking up. :-)

4. She basically has my dream job of being an entertainment journalist.

Watch the show. You and Giluana could be friends too!

Thankful Thursday

I'm always thankful its Thursday!

I'm thankful that my girlfriend, Kimber, finally started her blog. Here is the link if you need another blog to read: http://www.thebartofamilyblog.blogspot.com/.

I'm thankful that my girlfriend, Laura is having her baby possibly tomorrow on my birthday. She is probably not thankful because she was hoping to have him today!

I'm thankful that tomorrow is my birthday. I love the unexpected things that come along with my birthday.

I'm thankful that my mom and I got some of my backyard cleaned up. I need to call the pool people because its almost time to open that bad boy up!

I'm thankful that I found my daycare provider. Sherry will be starting on May 21. I am sad to see Emi go there, but happy because I know she will be in good hands. When we went to visit Emi was looking around at the other kids. I'm sure she will love to start playing with them soon. I also know some of the parents of the kids that go there, and they are the type of people that you want your kids to be friends with, so that is great! Also, Sherry lives close to our house!

Happy Thursday!

Confucius Says...

Confucius Says... "One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure."

My mom and I were doing some yard work on Sunday. I noticed a few times that my neighbor would bring items out to the curb. Minutes later somebody would drive by in a truck and pick it up. At first I thought "well that was weird. I wonder why their friend who picked up their stuff didn't stop to say hi to them." Then she came out with another load of junk and the same thing happened-only a different person in a different truck. I looked at my mom and said "You don't suppose it's spring clean up days, do you?" We googled it and sure enough- Tuesday was City of Johnston Spring Clean Up Day.

Spring Clean Up Day ranks right up there with things like Birthdays and Christmas. Not only is it great to clean up your house but the entertainment it provides by the disbelief of people taking your trash off your curb is priceless.

At about 3pm on Sunday my mom and I drug out my old mailbox, old kitchen sink, a broken lamp and old microwave. My mom left about ten minutes later, I shut the garage door, and looked at the front door. A truck was approaching. The truck pulls up to the curb, the driver yells at his son to get out the back and shout back what he sees on my curb. The dad likes what he hears and gets out of the truck and they load up everything- yes everything. I stand there in disbelief. I mean, I knew it would happen, but yet was so surprised that somebody literally wanted my garbage and so quickly.

My mom called me on Monday and reminded me that I had a Christmas Tree, Satellite Dish, old flower pot and  some old fencing that was around a garden that I needed to get rid of. I hauled it all out to the curb and watched over the next thirty minutes as the trucks and trailers went by looking through all the trash my neighbors and I had brought to the curb. Sure enough, people found more treasures. By the time the garbage came today, all that was left was the Satellite Dish. Somebody even took the old fencing! Unreal!

I had not gotten rid of those items yet because Midwest Solid Waste wanted to charge me between $15-$45 to pick up those items. These hoarders took them off my hands for free! Now all the hoarders will have to wait until next year to make their trip around the neighborhoods for their trash treasures! I feel so bad for their heirs who are going to have to clean all that trash those treasures!

Emi's First Tooth

Wow! Wow! That's all I can say. I thought this post would be MONTHS away! (Actually I had no idea how soon babies get their first tooth, but after researching this I find that this is crazy!). Let me tell you how it all went down:

I was over at my friend Mindy's house to help celebrate her husband's 40th birthday. Her sister, Megan, was holding Emi. As she went to give Emi back to me she said "Is that a tooh?" I looked at her confused- "I don't think so."  (Note to self: Next time just say yes! Then you will not feel like a bad parent for not knowing your child had a tooth!) She responded "Hmmm, it must be a blister or something." Okay Okay, now I know my Emi would not have blisters in her mouth so I wanted to investigate further. "Wash your hands" I asked of Megan. Wisely, I knew if I stuck my finger in her mouth I'd have no idea if what I was feeling was a tooth or not. Megan is a mom, I knew she would know. Sure enough- its a tooth! Just to make sure, Mindy, who has three daughters currently teething, came over and gave it a good feel! Emi has her first tooth!
As we drove home I kept feeling so guilty. She must be in pain. She must be uncomfortable. How can I have missed the fact that my daughter got her very first tooth!?! I called my mom to tell her the news. I could tell by her reaction she thought I was full of crap but knew I was too smart to lie about something that is so easily proven.

The following Monday I had lunch with my friend, Kimber Dr. Kimber Barto, D.D.S. I was a little nervous that my Emi was getting teeth so soon, and I thought I had heard about babies having their teeth pulled when they came in too early. But Dr. Barto says Emi will be just fine!

Now, what's next?!

Ten Things...

Today was another interesting day in the practice of law. Here are ten thoughts I have.

1. Apparently their is a hierarchy in the public assistance type available to people. And those on a "higher" form of public assistance feel they can judge those on a "lower" form of assistance. For example, having Title XIX is apparently a higher form of class than WIC. On that note, many people do not realize that Title XIX is public assistance provided by the public and not the parent. For example, I ask "Do you provide health insurance for your child." Alleged parent says "Yes." I ask "Through your employer?" trying not to act surprised that this person would infact have a job. Alleged parent responds "Title XIX."

2. A more appropriate response to an alleged wife beater who is stressing out about something would be "don't stress yourself out about it" rather than "don't beat yourself up over it" which was what came out of my mouth.

3. It may be wildly inappropriate to start bets around the office about what crime your former client committed after they leave a message in your voicemail telling you to call them immediately for criminal representation.

4. Marrying your second wife before divorcing your first wife really pisses off your second wife and sure complicates child custody issues when you move on to your future third wife (which you already have a few kids with- but that is not relevent to the issue).

5. Jeff, my boss, during interview "We really try to treat people right because after we do their divorce we like to help them with their will, or by a house...." Me: "or their second divorce..."

6. If you want something done right you better just do it yourself.

7. Some people really don't get a chance in life. Really. They don't. And some people, well, they get all the chances in the world and they continue to blow them. Really. They do.

8. I have perfected the art of telling how somebody's UA (urine analysis) will come back just by the reaction they give me when I ask them to take one. Don't worry. This is an art you too can perfect in a very short amount of time.

9.  I wish wireless routers could be fixed like the original nintendo games. Eject the game, give it a few puffs, and magic- it works again!

10. Babies don't come any cuter than this:

Pinterest Quotes

Posting again about Pinterest is going to give my readers the false impression that I spend many hours a day on Pinterest. I usually get on Pinterest when I pump or nurse- so well, maybe I do get on hours a day...

Here are some of my favorite quotes that I have seen on Pinterest:

"May the bridges I burn light the way."

"I can't tell if I am dealing well with life these days or if I just don't give a sh*t anymore."

"Talk - Action = Sh*t."

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew."

"We'll be best friends forever because you already know too much."

"Somedays I really feel like throwing in the towel but that would make more laundry for me."

"My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors."

"I feel lazier than the guy who created the Japanese flag."

"I'd rather complain about high gas prices than take public transportation."

"No one said life was easy but several people have said you are."

Happy pinning!