Mary the Mediator

There is a joke in my family that started years ago with my mom. She answers telephone calls for her business. Some days, after speaking to more dumb people than she can handle, she loses her patience. And right before my eyes my mom, Pauline (owner of the business), turns into Mary.

Mary cops an attitude with people. Mary doesn't take crap from anybody. And Mary has no concern about job security. And when the customer can't stand Mary's attitude any longer, they ask my Mom (Pauline) for her name to report her to management and she responds "Mary." My dad gets quite angry when Mary shows up to work. My dad has gotten more complaints about Mary than any other employee. Quite frankly, I don't know how my dad can hold it together on the phone when these people are going on and on about this b&#%h, Mary, and Mary doesn't even exist!

I have mentioned in the past that a large part of my law practice is mediation. In mediation, I serve as a neutral third party who works with two opposing attorneys and their clients to resolve their divorce.  I'm a somewhat popular mediator in Polk County. Most people report that I don't beat around the bush, I am very frank with people, and have a high settlement rate.

But after years of mediation, I'm starting to get tired. I'm tired of people telling me that they aren't going to send their 5 year old on visitation with their dad if their 5 year old "doesn't want to go." I'm sick of people completely screwing up their children's lives because they carry so much hate in their heart for their ex-spouse. I'm so tired of people complaining about paying child support. So when I get into mediations with particularly whiny people, Dawn the Mediator turns into Mary the Mediator. I lose my patience, and I break all Mediator's Oaths and tell these people what I really think. I cop a bad attitude that you think would be really bad for business. I have such a bad attitude that I'm certain in some mediations, people just settle their case because they are scared to piss me off any more.

In fact, I told a few attorneys the other day that I needed to stop mediating for awhile because I was not doing a good job being sympathetic and patient with their clients. I get the same response over and over- while they clients may not love her, the attorneys love Mary the Mediator. Mary gets it done.