Dear Mr. Co-Worker,
I'm sorry to hear you're not happy about me arriving a few minutes late to the office today. I'm also sorry you didn't have the decency to tell me to my face. See, while you just had to get out of bed and get ready for work, I did that, but also got my children out of bed, dressed, fed, and dropped off at the sitter. Don't worry, I'll still get more done at work today than you.
Oh, you have a busy week you're not looking forward to? All my weeks are busy. Not only do I work a full time job, but I'm a full time parent, wife, and organizer of all things to do with my home and family. This means I average at least one load of laundry a day, load the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, clean the baby's mess, cook, clean, put the baby to sleep, and run more of the errands for my household. And that's in addition to being responsible for assembling all baby books, signing child up for all activities, and paying all the bills.
What's that you say? You go to the grocery store sometimes, too? I know! I saw the stupid sign on the grocery store window that said "Think! Know where your child is at all times!" There is no way a Mom would need a reminder to remember if she left her child unattended in the car. I always know where my child is, just like I always know what ingredients I have in my cupboard, and how much money I have in my bank account. That's why I don't have to waste time balancing my checkbook like you, Sir. It's already done in my head.
I know you took work home with you last night and did it while your wife cooked dinner. I took work home last night too. But I didn't do it while somebody cooked dinner for me. You know that approximately hour and a half between your kids bedtime and your bed? Yes, that is when I did my work.
So, Mr. Co-worker, stop insutling me by pretending like you think I am equal to you. I exceed your efforts. Every. Single. Day.
Your Female Coworker
[Editor's Note. A warning about this post. I'm not a feminist. I have a wonderful husband who very much helps run this household and parent our child. And this post is not necessarily representative of any male co-workers I have or have had in the past. It's just an illustration of how I think Mom's are superheros.]