"Excuse me! I'm an attorney!" This is a phrase I have never used because I can't figure out how to say it without sounding like a complete dousche bag. Today I wanted to use it. See today I was shopping at Younkers and needed to exchange a pair of shoes that were less than thirty days old that were defective. And when Younkers didn't have my same size the nice salesman suggested I take my young baby and grouchy husband to another Younkers to see if I could exchange them there because the shoes I was returning were worn! Of course they were worn!! I wasn't returning them because I didn't like them I was returning them because they were broken. And $65 shoes should not break after 28 days!
I was pissed. In my head were thoughts of warranties of implied merchantability. Did that apply in this situation? Is that the correct term? Would this salesman know if this was the correct term? Did he know what that was? Did I know what that was? Bummer, I should have listened better in my first year torts class. Should I tell him I'm an attorney? Do I have my business card on me when he tries to call my bluff? Would he care if I'm an attorney? Do I even care that I'm an attorney? I'm a cardholder and valuable shopper of Younkers, at least according to their credit card statements.
So I grabbed my shoes and walked away.
And that's when my husband started laughing and said to me "Sometimes it is hard to believe you're an attorney."
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