Anthony to my mom (not me): "Can I have Emi?"
Me: "Hey, she's mine!"
Anthony to my mom: "Can I, Grandma?"
My boss to me while passing me at the office: "What's that smile on your face about?"
Me: "It's hard not to have a shit-eating grin on your face all the time when you have a daughter as cute as mine!"
Caller to my mom: "Why hasn't my daughter gotten her certificate?"
Mom: "Have you paid?"
Caller: "No, my daughter is on free and reduced lunch so she gets her driver ed paid for."
Mom: "Okay, well is she on free lunch or just reduced lunch?"
Caller: "Free AND reduced."
Mom: "No, free OR reduced?"
Caller: "I don't know. I just got out of prison."
Client to my secretary: "Are you from the South? I like your accent."
Tammie (my awesome new secretary who really doesn't have an accent: "No, I'm from Iowa."
Client: "Well, you've got a great accent!"
(Tammie now starts speaking in a southern accent to the client for the next several minutes. Tammie can't get client to shut up).
Tammie (still speaking in her southern accent): "Okay... say goodbye now. Okay. Bye Bye." And hangs up the phone.