Funny Conversations

Here are more funny conversations I have heard or been a part of recently:

Tommy: "Wow, it smells like dog sh*t in here!"
Me: "Dog sh*t or dog urine?"
Tommy: "Does it really matter?"

Me: "Isn't it crazy how obsessed people can get with their dogs?"
Mom: "What's crazy is when they bring the dogs into the car with them and then don't buckle them in."

Me: "Why does dried beef taste so salty."
Tommy: "Honey, its because they make it like the Pilgrims made it. You should know this."

Mom: "Menards has car seats on clearance."
Tommy: "I don't want a clearanced car seat for my daughter."
Me: "Its not like they remove safety straps so they can clearance it."

Homemaker's Employee: "Do you want me to tie this mattress onto your vehicle?"
Dad: "Does a bear s**t in the woods?"
Homemaker's Employee: "Huh?"
Dad: "Yes!!!"

Me insisting to my dad for 2 minutes: "You can check Fareway, Walmart and Target, but I'm telling you, only HyVee sells Cinnamon Ice Cream."
Dad calling 5 minutes later after going to Fareway instead of HyVee: "I found Cinnamon Ice Cream at Fareway."
Me: "It should taste real good with that s**t eating grin you have on your face."