What?!? How Much Do I Owe You?!?!

I distinctly remember lending a quarter to a classmate in second grade so she would have the remaining funds she needed to purchase a book at the Scholastic Book Fair. I went home that afternoon and told my parents the news. My parents responded "It's nice that you lent that money to your classmate, but anytime you lend money to anybody you should do it with the expectation that you will never be repaid. If the person repays you then you should accept the money, but if the person does not repay you, then you should not fret about that money you lost and not let it destroy your relationships."

While that day may parents were only speaking about the quarter I had lent to a friend, the lesson reached beyond the scope of actual money. Throughout my life I was taught that when we do things for people we do it to foster that relationship. We do things because it is common decency. We do things because we like to help others out. We do not do things so that people are forever indebted to us.

I have been fortunate enough to mostly surround myself with like-minded people my entire life. The generosity of my family, friends and sometimes complete strangers never goes unnoticed. And I hope that they find I have a giving heart as well. And I hope they know when I do something for them I do it because I want to do it, not because I want them to owe me.

I came across a situation recently that foolishly took me by surprise. (Foolishly because I had witnessed this person believing the rest of the world was in debt to her- why would I also not be?) I have an acquaintance that has without question helped me in my life. What I did not realize was that my relationship with this person was tied to a debt. And every thing this person had done in my life that assisted me caused me to go more and more in debt to this individual. And the value this person has placed on their actions far exceeds the value I would place on their actions- if I were so required to do. And, like my parents had taught me to do so many years before, I had also done things in my life that had benefited this person, but I did not keep a tab. I have now been asked to start a repayment plan on the debt I owe to this individual.

While I have yet to figure out how I am going to deal with this situation. It reminds me to be grateful for all the people I do know who love me and support me and my family not so that I will owe them, but just because they want to. And I want to keep doing things for them too. I find sitting around at the end of the day all looking at each smiling and thinking "Wow, isn't this life great?!" is far better than sitting around and fighting about how much we owe each other.