Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Ten Things...

Today was another interesting day in the practice of law. Here are ten thoughts I have.

1. Apparently their is a hierarchy in the public assistance type available to people. And those on a "higher" form of public assistance feel they can judge those on a "lower" form of assistance. For example, having Title XIX is apparently a higher form of class than WIC. On that note, many people do not realize that Title XIX is public assistance provided by the public and not the parent. For example, I ask "Do you provide health insurance for your child." Alleged parent says "Yes." I ask "Through your employer?" trying not to act surprised that this person would infact have a job. Alleged parent responds "Title XIX."

2. A more appropriate response to an alleged wife beater who is stressing out about something would be "don't stress yourself out about it" rather than "don't beat yourself up over it" which was what came out of my mouth.

3. It may be wildly inappropriate to start bets around the office about what crime your former client committed after they leave a message in your voicemail telling you to call them immediately for criminal representation.

4. Marrying your second wife before divorcing your first wife really pisses off your second wife and sure complicates child custody issues when you move on to your future third wife (which you already have a few kids with- but that is not relevent to the issue).

5. Jeff, my boss, during interview "We really try to treat people right because after we do their divorce we like to help them with their will, or by a house...." Me: "or their second divorce..."

6. If you want something done right you better just do it yourself.

7. Some people really don't get a chance in life. Really. They don't. And some people, well, they get all the chances in the world and they continue to blow them. Really. They do.

8. I have perfected the art of telling how somebody's UA (urine analysis) will come back just by the reaction they give me when I ask them to take one. Don't worry. This is an art you too can perfect in a very short amount of time.

9.  I wish wireless routers could be fixed like the original nintendo games. Eject the game, give it a few puffs, and magic- it works again!

10. Babies don't come any cuter than this:

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