One Hot Mess...

One Hot Mess. This is the phrase I use to describe my life right now as a mom. I must say that I do not understand or comprehend how people go back to work so soon after their baby is born. I know I know, I've been into the office already and have been doing some work at home. What I am talking about is the mom who has the baby, drops baby off at sitter and returns to work full time six weeks after the baby is born.

I had a taste of this life last week. Back in January I needed to schedule a mediation. I could not get it fit in prior to Emi's birth and the case seemed a bit too complicated to hand off to another attorney, so I decided to schedule it on March 9. I thought by that time, Emi would be 4 weeks old and it would just be so easy to do this mediation. Then, a week ago, I was feeling so stupid motivated that I decided to book my afternoon on the 9th full of appointments.

I tried to prepare myself the best I could on Thursday night. I thought I packed Emi's bag. I packed up my breast pump, I took a shower and washed my hair so I didn't have to do that in the morning, I laid out clothes.... I did everything humanly possible to be prepared. During the night Emi woke up later than usual for her mid-night feeding (she woke up at 5am instead of 3am). That was fine- I stayed awake. I handled it. But at 7am when I had originally planned on feeding Emi, she was not tired. I tried to prompt her to eat. I waited patiently for my darling daughter for 30 minutes to decide she was hungry, but to no avail. Normally I would have been pumping one side already but because I was so well prepared, I had already packed my pump in the car. So before I had even gotten out of bed on Friday morning (since I usually feed Emi in my bed) my plans were shot to hell changing.

As I rushed to get Emi changed (she wouldn't eat but she would keep pooping in her pants), myself ready and out the door to drop Emi off at my mom's, I thought what am I going to do? I need to pump since Emi didn't eat but I have no time to pump now. I had to drive Emi to my mom's house in Ankeny and then drive back downtown for my mediation. I suddenly remembered a conversation with Laura, a co-worker of mine, a few weeks back. She was talking to me about breastfeeding and how she would pump in the car all the time. At first I thought she meant that she would pump in the parking lot somewhere or off to the side of the road, but as her story went on it was clear that she was pumping while driving. At the time I thought THIS GIRL IS NUTS!!

I got Emi strapped in the car and then got myself strapped in as well. Yep, I have an outlet right in the console of my car, I hooked my pump right up, put a blanket over my top (which Laura later informed me is optional), opened the garage and started my trek to my mom's house.  (Note- Tommy and I were recently looking at cars and I noticed a car that has a cooler in the console of the car- this could be handy). Pumping while driving was brilliant. It was super easy, and it made both the pumping session and the drive to my mom's house go fast. From what I could tell, others around me could not even tell what I was doing. Also, this is much safer than my usual driving as I am usually on my phone non-stop. Its much easier to pump than it is to text and drive.

I pulled into my mom's driveway, unloaded Emi, and took in the freshly pumped milk. I said to my mom "Emi didn't eat this morning but here is some fresh milk for when she wakes up." I didn't have time to explain to my mom what I meant about fresh, so I went on my way.

Fast forward 5 hours later. Mediation, of course, went way longer than it should have. I kept expressing (pun intended) to the male mediator and male opposing counsel that mediation needed to wrapped up soon because I really needed to go. See, I had a 2pm appointment and had not pumped since 8am that morning. I had to pump before my 2pm and 3pm appointment for my own comfort but also to keep my supply up (you know how cheap Tommy and I are- we are going to wait many more months before we buy formula). Also, I didn't want to fail at pumping on my first full day to work. Clearly these men did not understand. I got out of mediation at 120. I knew I would not have time by the time I got to the office to pump before my appointments. So I employed the pump and drive technique all through downtown and interstate 235 to my office. I ran over to Laura's office to tell her we are both nuts how much of a genius she was. Also, I only pumped one at a time and I wanted to see if there was some technique I was misisng to do two at a time (fear not- she told me no). I suddenly realized I had become addicted to pumping while driving when I said "Oh, I wish my mom lived further from the office so I could pump on my way to her house!"

Emi and I get a better hang of things.

As I was pumping down the interstate yesterday I thought to myself "I'm a mess... one hot mess... but I wouldn't have it any other way."

If you see me driving down the road, and I don't wave back at you- Please do not be offended. I'm probably pumping.