Dad to Sister while giving her a hug: "I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. Take care of yourself. I love you."
(long pause)
Dad to me: "Here, why don't I give you a hug too so you don't feel left out."
Me to Dad: "Or you could just hug me and tell me you love me because you actually do."
Erin: "No, he'll hug you and tell you he loves you because he doesn't want to read about it on your blog."
Tommy: "Oh Shit!!!"
Me: "What's wrong?!"
Tommy: "Well, I got that booger out of Emi's nose!"
Me: "Great! What's wrong then?!"
Tommy: "It landed in her mouth."
My boss, Jim, to interviewee: "The associates do not need as much secretarial help because they grew up with computers."
Me: "... and telephones!"
Erin (my secretary): "Welcome back!"
Me: "Who said I'm back?"
Erin: "Well the other day you told me to tell your clients your back."
Me: "Well, that doesn't mean I'm back!"
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