Funny Conversations

Tommy: "Google says we need [list of items] to pack for the baby's bag for the hospital."
Me: "I don't think we are going to need bottles though."
Tommy: "But how are we going to feed the baby?"
(Me giving Tommy a confused blank look)
Tommy: "Oh yah. Nevermind."

Me while opening a box to a new piece of furniture: "Wow! It's gorge!"
Tommy: "Honey, it is not gorge, it is white."
Me: "No, I mean it is gorgeous!"
(30 second pause)
Me: "Wait! What color is 'gorge'?

Anthony after going to the bathroom: "Hey, Auntie Dawn!!"
Me: "Yes?!"
Anthony: "I left skid marks."

Tommy: "I really like the name Natalia. I think we should put Natalia on the name list."
Me: "I dont' like it."
Tommy: "Why not?"
Me: "It sounds like the name of a Russian slut."
Tommy: "Yah. Lets not put it on the list."

Erin (my secretary): "Do you know [insert name of random person]?"
Me: "No, why?"
Erin: "I didn't think so. He called here collect from the jail. I looked him up online and it appears he has two aggravated misdemeanors and a felony, one of which is for violating that pesky 2000 foot law. I figured you wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole."